All relationships have their ups and downs and this includes the most personal ones in our lives too. There are so many pressures on our lives these days and on our time too, from family to finances, from children to communication, that often many couples or family relationships can struggle and go through difficult times.

In a relationship good feelings have often been replaced with pain, conflict and a sense of isolation. Couples and relationship therapy provides a safe and supportive space to talk about and explore the reasons for this disconnection. The aim is not to point the finger and blame, but to help both parties reconnect emotionally in a safe and neutral space to listen to the other party and be able to speak freely and comfortably about what they feel is going wrong for them. To learn to communicate more effectively and if appropriate we will then work together to come to a compromise with compassion and understanding for each other and work on a happier and healthier relationship going forward.

The way we behave in adult relationships can have roots in our own histories. An important aspect of couples and relationship therapy is highlighting the impact of the past on both individuals and working to disentangle it from the present. Looking into our past might reveal that feeling unheard and unimportant is a familiar pattern from our childhood. Making this connection doesn't make our partner’s or family members behaviour any more acceptable, but it does start to make sense of our reaction.

Unfortunately a Therapist does not have magic powers nor do they have wands to wave and fix our issues, counselling can help you understand yourself and others better and offer tools and guidance, but it can’t change a person or a relationship if people aren’t ready to put in the effort and commitment.

The aim of therapy is to help create a happier and healthier relationship between the two people involved if that is what they both want. The therapist can assist you and guide you to this better place but they cannot do it for you the hard work must come from the people involved.

For some people weather it’s a personal, family or romantic relationship the best thing is for a break from each other, sometimes permanently sometimes to allow both parties to work on what they want going forward, and this is ok. The therapist can help you do this in a healthy way especially if there will be an impact on wider circle of people eg: children.

If you decide you want relationship counselling please know I will need consent from both parties to proceed with sessions as you both need to be committed to making the changes necessary to move your relationship forward.